Going through these office blues, when all you have to do is encode, check, walk, translate, wait for your boss’s calls and text for new tasks., it’s extremely boring but challenging in a way. Then again, I am happy coz from all these things, I am learning a lot, and when I say a lot, it’s [A LOT]. Caught in the middle of unfamiliar faces and places, I got the inspiration to make my 2011 year end entry in the office pretending I am working seriously on my translation. Just like the years that had passed, it’s my self-invented “TRADITION” to make a year-end entry to summarize and put end to another year that is about to end. It’s also a way of thanking few important people who made this year, worth remembering.
I can say 2011 was a great year, almost perfect. Though still haunted by those blue moments , and sentiments never left, more than half of its entity was indeed SUPER DUPER HAPPY, and when I face 2012 and think back about 2011, I can smile with that gratitude and true happiness in my heart. CHOZZ.
Thankful coz everything that I asked for 2011 when 2010 was still about to end, God gave them all to me. A sense that, you feel so loved by God coz he gave everything you asked, from acads, to good health, to my family, to nice love life,to my friends, to new people, to achievements, to plans that I was able to accomplish, to my so-called miracles that did happen, and in an amazing way, all those things made me feel fulfilled and satisfied. Simple little wishes and dreams that came true.
When it comes to failure, it’s part of life, but as to regrets, it’s a big ZERO. I can say this was the only year that I never thought of any regret. Still there were those “Inevitable sadness” that came from time to time, but never really had regrets about anything, with that alone I am really thankful. Coz in a way I learned how to appreciate all the things I have, manage my emotions, mature and grow up from all those childish perspectives I used to have.
Maturity at its best, to POSITIVITY, TO AFFIRMATION, TO FULFILLMENT, and to a HAPPINESS that comes naturally.
I feel really blessed. Thesis, Initiative for Peace, new experiences, new challenges, new things, new people, I never thought I would have.
So, THANK YOU EVERYONE who made my 2011 worth remembering. Thank you for sharing your lives with mine. Thank you for the hardships and smiles that will never fade into memory.
To my family~ as always. Specially to my dearest Papa who remained my inspiration all these years. To my Mama who never failed to understand my “growing up” stage. To my sister Dabyang for always being there for me, in any way, to my lil twin sisters for being so madlita and funny.
To my dearest other half, FAIFAI. <3 I know it was a tough start when we entered 2011. Things have changed a lot. There were a lot of challenges that came, there were times that both of us almost gave up, but I am thankful coz you were the one who fought for me when I was about to give up. Thank you for everything we’ve been through this year. We’re going back to the start, forget the hurts and mistakes, and I hope we’ll have more and more years to spend together. Iloveyou. <3
To Shigyo, you’ll always be special coz you’re the only one who can keep my SANITY. For effortlessly making me LAUGH OUT LOUD when I’m about to set into my EMO moments. You know what I mean. *Duh.
To my dearest friends, #TEAMARYAT, for being so so considerate, for all the things we shared this year, for all the crazy days that can never be replaced, for making me feel that there will always be people who can make me feel like I just can be myself no matter how careless and freak I become. <3<3 MORE LABLAB DAYS for us!
FRATSOR, im thankful coz I have crazy old friends like you. We seldom get together but when we’re finally with each other, one day is never enough. Specially to my dearest Kapitana Chen, my agent, my partner, my number 1 fan. <3<3<3 *hilas special mention pa*
To my new housemates, Charade, Clark, Yan-Yan, and Gene, learning how to be independent is extremely hard, but I can say it is made easy coz I am with you guys.
To my Vmobile family, for changing my perspectives in life. For giving such huge influence about POSITIVTITY AND AFFIRMATION. I might not have continued whatever it is that I have started but the learnings and application will always remain. And not to mention, the PEOPLE I met who made me smile, happy and feel inspired in the simplest way. I’ll always be thankful to God coz I met YOU. <3
And to everyone, to the special people, special friends, special acquaintances, I may not be able to mention all your names. But you know who you are. You all had unique ways in sharing a part of your life with me, and for that I am really blessed. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. *BIG HUGSS*
Thank you everyone! I hope we will all spend 2012 with happiness all throughout the year. All the best! Happy New Year!
xOxO,
dahly
Labels: adventure, announcement, love, normal
4:31 PM
I swear to myself, if theres one achievement that i can say I am really proud of, its winning the Nihongo Speech Contest. Even the skies could testify how i used to hate Nihongo, how i regret having to face all those Japanese stuff everyday for almost four years now, and that i have tagged Nihongo as one of my greatest weakness. But as the title goes, believe in the Unbelievable. :) Choz.
Yes, it is my weakness. But for the record, nothing can never be done with my mighty mighty determination. I had a lot of Fear joining the contest.
1st- because i love English too bad that my jap. pronunciation is extremely bad.
2nd- im too afraid of failure.
3rd- there should be a lot of sacrifice.
i was determind to join because:
1st- there's something i wanna share
2nd- there's something i NEED to prove to myself
3rd-
1% passion. 99% pride.
I know i can't lose the opportunity, and the trust that my Senseis have given me. I can't act like i don't care when in fact people around me are working too hard to help me. And that, i know i want this and i would never ever want to regret in my life that i never tried just because it is my weakness.
Shang Rila Plaza Mall, Manila, February 26 2011.
The day had come, and booom . i was there in front of everyone, but i can't see their faces. The spotlight have eaten my sense of sight and everything was dark, my heart was extremely extremely pounding. It was a hard start, but i know, that there were 3 people from the audience who had their fingers cross, believing and looking up to me, my Senseis. Ayano Sensei, Daiji Sensei, And Haruyama Sensei, and i know i can't fail them.
Nonetheless, i have myself. and though before i never trusted my skills in Nihongo, that time i had to trust myself, and tell myself to do whatever i could possibly do to make the best out of such a great opportunity.
Getting there wasn't easy, being there was horrible, but finishing the Job was far way more compelling
for someone like me who never really had that special attention for Japanese.
And *BOOOM* BOOOOM* BOOOM* even brighter than the *MOOOON.* *MOOON* MOOOOOOON*. Like i always say to myself, i can be a firework. I can be whoever they want to be, because more than the passion, i had this Pride that i never would want to throw away just because of my Fear :))
It was worth it, it was self compelling, it was simply one of a kind!
And as I had to deliver my speech for the First Year Students' Orientation, i shared to them: i had to sacrifice my sleep, i had to sacrifice the time i had to laugh with my friends, i could just have let this slip away, i could have just slept and never cared, but at the end of the day, nothing is more priceless than being able to tell yourself, that OF COURSE , I WILL, and OF COURSE, I CAN!.
そして、皆さん、何もしてるとき、いつもがんばってね。
"-whatever you do, always do your best."
and as the last part of my speech says:
小さい大学だって、誰も知らなくたって、そこで何ができるかは自分次第なんです！
-" it doesnt matter where you came from, even if you're just from a small and not so famous school, the things you can achieve, the things you can do, it's all up to YOU."
So believe, and keep on believing. Aim High, Aim Higher. Ganbare.
8:24 PM
11:00 pm . December 25, 2010 i became single. (:
12:06 AM
i should say, 2010 have given me much more than what i deserve. 2010 has been really kind and supportive. And i bid goodbye to this year, there's this hope that 2011 would also be as kind as 2010. So what's this? Year end entry! i never end my year without thanking those people who took part and brought happiness to my life.. to those people who showed me that my life is so beautiful and that we all deserve to enjoy its blessings.
So this time a more general approach (:
To my Family:
thank you for continuously understanding and supporting me on whatever i do. For inspiring me to make my dreams come true. The reason why i exist and why i love to exist.
To Fai:
For always comforting me on my stressful days and for treating me like a princess in every way.
To Fratsor:
For all the moment that we shared this year and for all those time that you're on my side and for understanding all my absences. hope 2011 would give us more party! party!
To my Girls to my thesis girls:
lyca, dannah and gene celle plus weng, thank you coz we braved the challenges and you always make me strong. For making me see my real friends in school for understanding me and for always telling me whats wrong and for all the support. You're not just my thesis mates but my real great friends who believed in me when everyone one else didn't.
To my Jenesys Family:
Ibaraki make some noise! im glad i met you guys! superrrr. I wouldn't want to spend that japan adventure with any other people than you.
Dear Friends:
Madhel , Shigyo, Aprylle, Ate Rc for always guiding me and leading me to the right decision. hahah!
TO Almighty God
For having me as your daughter and for giving me all that i need. for making me happy and for showing me that i deserve whatever it is that i work for. (: i can't make it without you on my side
Thank you so much. Really short but im really thankful. Broken friendships, misunderstandings, judgements, failures , pains.. they all me me whoever i am, and for all the blessing that came.. still thank you for making 2010 happy.
Labels: love
11:40 PM
I never thought I'll reach the point of loving it. I have debated before but never really felt that it was for me. it was some sort of a no-choice-thing thats why i de
bated. However, i am glad that because of that a person whom i really adore trusted me when it comes to,. how do i call it, argument formulation maybe? haha. and this year, its a great year for me. Mam Flora Cabacungan, my constitution and economics teacher have given me this opportunity to join the debating team in school even if i was not able to sign up for the team during the Club fair. When Gencelle told me that i have to get ready with my outfit, i was totally blank and said : "FOR WHAT?" and she said FOR DEBATING.
I was actually waiting for an opportunity to debate but never really did something about it. and then here comes the chance. i was like Oh~ la la~ THIS IS IT!. time to do something with my life.
On the 21st of September, it is my first time to debate in an inter-school competition. i never really imagined my self on that podium talking. and it turned out fine because we won the debate with Brokenshire and i had the best debater and best spearker thingie. LOL. that's funny. :P
and the second round was with Ateneo, too good to say that it was a great round yet we werent able to get. i dont why but the judges were really complaining about the manner stuff? and what they were talking about was totally different from what Mam Flora was telling us. Duh. no wonder.! After all, i'd still trust our dear moderator who reached as far as Texas all because of debating than those NOTSOARROGANTINORANT English teachers who were complaining about Public Speaking all through out their delivery of their adjudicator's speech but never really cared about the substance and our argument, hahaha. Not to mention, i know we won that round as EXPERTS really say but if its not for us, it would be just fine to accept their irrevocable judgement. haha! and i still have the compensation of being the best speaker. LOL. How sad. But at the end of the day, it did not stop me from loving and appreciating debating because its the only way i can express myself, use my cruelty at its truest sense and i can be proud of myself because i can excel on my own CHOSEN Field.
And above all those victory and lesson, i owe it to the one who First INSPIRED me to try debating.
And lastly, i am thankful to my one and only guy coz at the end of those tiring days of matter loading, he is always there to encourage me and take away my tiredness. (:
Kudos! to the Mam Flora's Debating Team!
Labels: school
7:59 PM
Work Hard, and earn an achievement. That's how i molded myself. For every single achievement i earn, for every praise that people would tell me and for every contentment that i can feel when doing something, one thing is for sure, I WORKED HARD, I SACRIFICED a lot, even reached to the point of DESPERATION but never to the extent of using other PEOPLE just to gain attention, just to gain fame, just to be talked about, just to go farther than what other people have reached.
But how cruel life could be, when all you want is to live your life the way you want it to be. and then one day you'd realize that all the things you've worked to have was taken away by someone who used to be someone you've trusted a lot and ended up fussing about you and your PAST arguments with the people who wouldn't really care about the business of other people not unless you'd discuss it with them.
Months have passed, things have changed, memories faded, when all we thought that we all have moved on, YOU KEPT FUSSING ABOUT IT PALA UNTIL NOW? What's with you? can't you just get over it? does it still bother you? What do you want? YOu need fame? go eat it. I REALLY DON'T CARE. All I want is you'd THAT STOP FUSSING AND STOP TALKING ABOUT THE PAST.. ABOUT ME. Cause i dont care about you, i don't care about your life, i dont care what you want. I understand your desperation but stop using us to gain others' sympathy. Get over it! can't you? Honestly, its quite already awkward to complain about this thing again coz i learned to forget and let go . now its your time. GET OVER IT .
and what i have realized, we are playing games here, and you are doing it THE WRONG WAY and does it make you happy now? just have fun! :) i honestly wish you'd have fun. Coz at the end of it all, You'd still Lose and one day you'll realized that the only person yuo really hate IS YOURSELF coz you'll get to Regret the damage you've done.
11:53 PM
Months after i went back from Japan, i went through several changes. changes that were quite hard to adjust but made me happy and fully contented today as i write this entry. Like i always say:
ITS BEEN a WHILE lil bloggie!
For me to talk about life, rationality, and success now, would sound quite unreliable coz i know theres a lot more i need to know about life. So now i'll talk about HAPPINESS.
On my flight bound for Davao, it was filled with excitement and sadness. Sadness because i know, no matter how i wish to be with Jenesys peepz again and do the same happy moments would be impossible. i mean there were really people who made me smile even when im away from the people i do love. I am sad because i wanted to stay longer with them, but reality hits me because on the 25th of April, i have to go back to where i truly belong. Davao.
When i stepped back to Davao's Soil, i realized, home sweet home at last! it was almost 3 hours of waiting until i saw him again. He gave me the tightest HUG ever. i felt it through my bones straight to my heart. (Hyperbole it may seem but it was then i realized that i really missed Him. i missed my prince. )
Then i saw my family, and i was happy really happy to give them my "pasalubongs". And i am proud of myself coz honestly, when i was in Japan, i never thought about myself, prior to being there i was really thinking of buying myself nice clothes, bags and of course cosmetics that would really really make me uber uber happy. but then, unexpectedly, i didn't buy any of those for myself. on the top of everything, it was for my family & fai that i would want to spend my money. one reason is that, when i was in Japan, i experienced enough, i experienced the things that i never thought i would experience so it wasn't hard for me decide on that thing. and everything paid off the moment i saw their faces. full of LOVE and Happiness.
A day after i returned, there was an unexpected confession from someone i never thought would do it. I mean, it was far from reality but it did happen, and i felt like i don't deserve it, so later i needed to let go of it, and so i Did.
then one at a time, i was able to see my friends. i was able to LAUGH and tell them the craziest stories of my experience. And i see them happy for me, one thing that i would really treasure because my friends are happy for my happiness.
May 2010, there were several family matters that made me worry. But then, it was time to be strong for my lil sisters and one person who never left me, who listened to me even if i talk about same thing over and over again was my prince. and from that time on, he never left me.
i don't really know the exact reason, why and how that the moment i returned he showed me the person i want him to be.
Class started, and i saw the people from school again. And i can see from their eyes who's real from not. The friend, oh! my so-called friend until now we weren't able to fix things. But later on, i realized that if its meant to be fixed it will be fixed, but not now, onyl God knows. i learned to forgive and just not care about how many of them talk behind my back coz real friends make me strong. Later on, i realized that i don't even need to tell them that what they are thinking is wrong nor prove to them that what they see and hear aren't true. People look down on you because you have something that they can't have like my friend shigyo always tell me. and no matter how many mistakes I've done in the past, it wont be enough for them to judge me coz i don't know them, And so be it, let people talk and let them be happy with what they do. hahahaha! after all, my life tells me the reason why they are like that.
In school, everything gets tougher. i mean in my acads, there are really days that 24 hours im wide awake just to finish deadlines and make sure that Doc Jubilo would be happy with our thesis. Somehow i got hooked into my thesis stuff coz its the first time i love doing it no matter how many hours i spend just to read articles and edit them. Nihongo, oh dude! it kills me everytime. But i am happy coz i still have good grades not as high as i really want them to be but they're ok. SATISFIED after hearing Doc Jubilo's comment and seeing those grades. <3>
Friends, my thesis fellas, my groupmates for life. i soo love them. because i see them work hard as i do. i see them serious and striving for our common goal. We go to church together and together we do more and more adventures. with all the sleepless nights, out of towns, and laughing moments till our stomachs ache. i can't exchange them for anything. people who keepon telling me to just keep quiet, people who keep on reminding me that there are a lot of traitors out there and that i never should easily talk and trust. Friends who tell me "LAB DAHLY LAB!"(while doing those hugging gestures)and i shooo them off then we laugh, people i never thought would be with me right now as i face the hardest part of my college life. the people who listen to me either when im commanding or im doing my storytelling, the people who tells me to shut up when i talk to much and most of all the people who BELIEVE in ME. My happiness and contentment for as long we do our struggles together. and i know we'll make it till the END.
And then, at the end of each day in school, there's the red car with the dragon waiting patiently. Days when he knows im too busy to eat, he goes to Mcdo near the school and buy my
Rockin' Ruby Float, burger and fries. The guy who gave
LIL FIFI to help me with my thesis stuff.
.When im about to cry because im really tired in school, he makes me strong and reminds me of my dreams for my father, and for my family. On weekends, he treats me massage to relax myself. The man who calls me 3:00-4:00 am in the morning just to tell me
he loves me and same thing that makes me fully charged in the morning when i go to school.
Indeed, to seek for to much is not right. but to be happy and feel contentment of what you have is the best thing that anyone could ever do with life. I can't say it was easy as counting 1..2...3, but just as i decided on things and just as i learned to accept mistakes, it taught me how to be HAPPY with everything. <3>
Gnite fellas.
xoxo,
F.meteora
9:55 PM
2011 Year End Entry
