i hate this life. ive been missing a lot of things. im not ready to have commitment. im really tired..im tired of crying...im tired of thinking..im tired of being lonely..im tired of being confused..im sick because of what is happening. i hate this life...i never thougt everything would be like this.. i really dont know wat to do. It's distrubing when I know I can't do it yet i've started off and I don't wish to give up...coz i know everyone will blame me! i talked to my very close friend kanina...first time ko siyang nakausap since sinagot ko si rione. and i never thought na iiyak ako...supposedly dapat strong at masaya ako infront of my friends..i dont want to look pathetic pero prng knina im soo weak coz i know that she knows im in pain. She looked at me and her words made me cry.things shouldnt have turned out like this if only im smart..if only i didnt make ym decisions too fast. if only i could turn back time hindi ko sana nakikita ang sarili kong parang tanga na tumatawa then maya maya umiiyak na..gago ako alam ko...i hate my self. im so selfish..im so self centered. hindi ko na iniisip na marami na akong nasasaktan. hindi ko rin iniisip na pagod na ang mga taong nakikinig sa akin kc ang nasa isip ko lang sarili ko...im really sorry..sorry sa lahat ng nasaktan ko..sorry kc ganito ako ka tanga..sorry kc hindi ko alam kung paano ko i hahandle ang mga bagay..sorry kc nagkakaganito ako for one stupid person. bakit nmn kc ngayon pa siya bumalik kung kailan akala ko nakalimutan ko na siya., kung kailan hindi na ako free. hindi niya alam na pinapahirapan na niya ako..kc manhid siya..napaka manhid. ilang beses na niya akong nasaktan pero minamahal ko prn siya..isa siyang malaking abnormal. napaka abnormal. siya ang dahilan kung bakit ngak letche letche tong buhay ko...but he is still the reason why i learned how to smile..how to take risks..how to improve myself and how to love a person who have caused me too much pain. i thought everything would be fine., but so sad..coz as i wake up each day i could see every single thing getting worse because of me!!!! im really waiting for that day that i will be able forget everything...everything that had happened.

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