Months after i went back from Japan, i went through several changes. changes that were quite hard to adjust but made me happy and fully contented today as i write this entry. Like i always say:
ITS BEEN a WHILE lil bloggie!
For me to talk about life, rationality, and success now, would sound quite unreliable coz i know theres a lot more i need to know about life. So now i'll talk about HAPPINESS.
On my flight bound for Davao, it was filled with excitement and sadness. Sadness because i know, no matter how i wish to be with Jenesys peepz again and do the same happy moments would be impossible. i mean there were really people who made me smile even when im away from the people i do love. I am sad because i wanted to stay longer with them, but reality hits me because on the 25th of April, i have to go back to where i truly belong. Davao.
When i stepped back to Davao's Soil, i realized, home sweet home at last! it was almost 3 hours of waiting until i saw him again. He gave me the tightest HUG ever. i felt it through my bones straight to my heart. (Hyperbole it may seem but it was then i realized that i really missed Him. i missed my prince. )
Then i saw my family, and i was happy really happy to give them my "pasalubongs". And i am proud of myself coz honestly, when i was in Japan, i never thought about myself, prior to being there i was really thinking of buying myself nice clothes, bags and of course cosmetics that would really really make me uber uber happy. but then, unexpectedly, i didn't buy any of those for myself. on the top of everything, it was for my family & fai that i would want to spend my money. one reason is that, when i was in Japan, i experienced enough, i experienced the things that i never thought i would experience so it wasn't hard for me decide on that thing. and everything paid off the moment i saw their faces. full of LOVE and Happiness.
A day after i returned, there was an unexpected confession from someone i never thought would do it. I mean, it was far from reality but it did happen, and i felt like i don't deserve it, so later i needed to let go of it, and so i Did.
then one at a time, i was able to see my friends. i was able to LAUGH and tell them the craziest stories of my experience. And i see them happy for me, one thing that i would really treasure because my friends are happy for my happiness.
May 2010, there were several family matters that made me worry. But then, it was time to be strong for my lil sisters and one person who never left me, who listened to me even if i talk about same thing over and over again was my prince. and from that time on, he never left me.
i don't really know the exact reason, why and how that the moment i returned he showed me the person i want him to be.
Class started, and i saw the people from school again. And i can see from their eyes who's real from not. The friend, oh! my so-called friend until now we weren't able to fix things. But later on, i realized that if its meant to be fixed it will be fixed, but not now, onyl God knows. i learned to forgive and just not care about how many of them talk behind my back coz real friends make me strong. Later on, i realized that i don't even need to tell them that what they are thinking is wrong nor prove to them that what they see and hear aren't true. People look down on you because you have something that they can't have like my friend shigyo always tell me. and no matter how many mistakes I've done in the past, it wont be enough for them to judge me coz i don't know them, And so be it, let people talk and let them be happy with what they do. hahahaha! after all, my life tells me the reason why they are like that.
In school, everything gets tougher. i mean in my acads, there are really days that 24 hours im wide awake just to finish deadlines and make sure that Doc Jubilo would be happy with our thesis. Somehow i got hooked into my thesis stuff coz its the first time i love doing it no matter how many hours i spend just to read articles and edit them. Nihongo, oh dude! it kills me everytime. But i am happy coz i still have good grades not as high as i really want them to be but they're ok. SATISFIED after hearing Doc Jubilo's comment and seeing those grades. <3>
Friends, my thesis fellas, my groupmates for life. i soo love them. because i see them work hard as i do. i see them serious and striving for our common goal. We go to church together and together we do more and more adventures. with all the sleepless nights, out of towns, and laughing moments till our stomachs ache. i can't exchange them for anything. people who keepon telling me to just keep quiet, people who keep on reminding me that there are a lot of traitors out there and that i never should easily talk and trust. Friends who tell me "LAB DAHLY LAB!"(while doing those hugging gestures)and i shooo them off then we laugh, people i never thought would be with me right now as i face the hardest part of my college life. the people who listen to me either when im commanding or im doing my storytelling, the people who tells me to shut up when i talk to much and most of all the people who BELIEVE in ME. My happiness and contentment for as long we do our struggles together. and i know we'll make it till the END.
And then, at the end of each day in school, there's the red car with the dragon waiting patiently. Days when he knows im too busy to eat, he goes to Mcdo near the school and buy my
Rockin' Ruby Float, burger and fries. The guy who gave
LIL FIFI to help me with my thesis stuff.
.When im about to cry because im really tired in school, he makes me strong and reminds me of my dreams for my father, and for my family. On weekends, he treats me massage to relax myself. The man who calls me 3:00-4:00 am in the morning just to tell me
he loves me and same thing that makes me fully charged in the morning when i go to school.
Indeed, to seek for to much is not right. but to be happy and feel contentment of what you have is the best thing that anyone could ever do with life. I can't say it was easy as counting 1..2...3, but just as i decided on things and just as i learned to accept mistakes, it taught me how to be HAPPY with everything. <3>
Gnite fellas.
xoxo,
F.meteora
MY HAPPINESS & SATISFACTION
