Out of all the blues, a confused heart, a worried mind, a skeptical soul, that's how I found myself .
I didn't have problems, I didn't know exactly, I just needed to move away from something that has become an UNHEALTHY routine. Not to mention the mini-heart attacks I get every morning.

I, As any other girl same aged as mine, Twitter, Facebook have been the hardest routine to escape from. Hardest routine? Indeed. I can say that maybe because countless times have I tried. Several attempts to get it out of me, but every time, I failed. Why? I can't stand a day not checking it, not tweeting all of the infamous events I had with my life, stalking, has been an issue to me ever since. The things I know because I got hooked to it, I can say was better, better in such a way I am not being stupid blinded of the things I used to believe--" I always have to know."

Then, I grew tired. That's just it. Friends used to believe, when I deactivate my accounts its another "kaaryatan" move, boys are suspects, which i can say, they would always be guilty because, I won't deny that its really a BOY-RELATED-KAARYATAN issue again. C'mon, let's be honest, it has always been like that anyway * smiles*


And yet, this time? It's quite different. It's like tossing my last coin, gambling my last card, betting on something I thought I'd still lose. I did that when I was perfectly fine, well in terms of that boy-related issue again, it's fine actually. Just to clear things up and answer all those misconceptions of me Deactivating my FB.--AGAIN!

For my Facebook account, I mean it was easy, maybe because I always do it every time. little heartaches Little frustration, then boom* "bye for now fb"~ , it has always been like that. But for my twitter? i admit, its really hard because,

 the moment i wake up, TWEET,
 I eat my breakfast, TWEET
I take a bath, TWEET
Every song , TWEET
Every Food , Tweet
Every failure , Every struggle, every happiness, every achievement, every feeling, every mood, every THING, I Tweet them all.

But Yes, people get tired. I actually do not like the sense that Twitter is too publicized already. People rant about this and that, (i mean i do not actually condemn that coz i was once "like that"), but actually it had become annoying in a way.Well, i actually like twitter because before there were very few who were in to it, so i'm free as a bird to  let it all out, but now, O'cmon take a break~

So even if it was hard, I stopped TWEETING TOO. Deactived my FB. Three days or four, i thought I'd give up. But to my amazement, its my 3rd week now. I didn't write this blog to rant that , ~ oh yes! i did it, for 21 days , i didnt have fb and i didnt tweet., that's too childish, isn't it?

It's not like that actually, in the end I realized, its what I have actually needed from the start. I needed to KEEP QUIET. To find the person, not the one I used to know, *that's too obsolete to say these days*, so lemme say;

BUT TO FIND THE PERSON I NEVER THOUGHT I'LL BECOME.

And it made me happy. 

Yes, it's good to let our hearts out, to shout to the world all the happiness, to complain about things that makes us sad,then what? to get attention from people thru the "LIKES", Comments" Mentions, and replies, yeah, it feels good, too good ,to the point that it felt too great, and to the point that it had become to WEARY, we have already forgotten, what it's like to be IN SILENCE, to find and have all those things, with out you ranting about it, without you announcing it to the World.

All these time, I kept quiet, and yes, things were better. Minus the mini-heartaches, minus the sleepless nights, minus the efforts, minus the Burden, you wake up each day, feeling good, no worries, no other people having have to meddle with your issues.

I'm glad I did that, I don't know up until when, but for now, I'm keeping the silence, because I loved myself more than I used to, I learned to separate the fantastic reality to the Fraud happiness I used to have. Now, I'm at my happiest. It feels really good.

Sweet dreams fellas,

xOxO,
DVSP

http://fallingmeteora.blogspot.com/